Chasing a squirrel on caffeine…

I just received an email at work containing the following line: “getting them pinned down has been like trying to chase a squirrel on caffeine.”

I promptly forwarded the email to my boss and asked if he has ever chased a squirrel on caffeine. His response leads me to believe he has not. Neither have I. And chances are, I don’t know anyone who has.

After hearing this, I have a few questions:

1) Where did the squirrel get the caffeine?
2) Why would you be chasing a squirrel in the first place?
3) How high can squirrels jump after consuming caffeine?
4) What happens to tortoises (torti?) when they consume caffeine?

If anyone can answer any or all of these, it would be greatly appreciated.

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