9 Rules and Expectations for Rapture 2011

9 Rules and Expectations for Rapture 2011

#1. Clowns. You’d better not be afraid of clowns. This is the biggest misconception among the public: clowns are not a part of the Rapture events. You just be ready for clowns, is all I’m saying.

#2. Expect to see some glitter, unicorns, and other mythical creatures taking part in the festivities. If this Rapture really happens, there’s a chance that there will be a moment of euphoria prior to Hell blazing over. If you’re lucky enough to get whisked away, you’ll probably get to live with said glitter, unicorns, and other mythical creatures. Lucky you.

#3. Balls of fire, earthquakes, tidal waves, and horribly-tuned smooth jazz. I don’t expect much thunder, but if there is, it will mostly be drowned out by said jazz and is likely to clap to the beat if you can hear it at all.

#4. Chariots. Lots of them. Ben-Hur style, too.

#5. If this Rapture really happens, expect to see Jesus in the far-off distance, likely hovering in the sky somewhere, standing guard at the aptly-named Pearly Gates along with Peter.

#6. Be prepared to not be whisked away, likely because you’ve listened to rock n roll a few times in your life, or you’ve cursed. They’re saying only 200 million people will be saved. Odds are it isn’t you seeing how that equates to less than 3% of the world’s population.

#7. If you *are* whisked away, be prepared to mourn the loss of loved ones as you watch them on the ground while you float to the sky. Or watch them burn in flames. Or if you suddenly disappear. No matter what, you’re going to want to keep your eyes open.

#8. If you’re lucky enough to see a unicorn, catch it. It’s said that Rapture, at times, can be much like a children’s game in that if you catch a unicorn you’ll be safe.

#9. My final warning: 1) beware of the clowns, 2) some unicorns bite, and 3) glitter likely won’t come off/out of burned flesh, so there’s at least a small chance that you’ll look glittery for all eternity if you’re not magically whisked away.

Good luck no matter what happens.

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Now every day is a vacation day. Good.

I remember like it was yesterday:

One day last April, I walked into Tarzjay with little direction (just made up that spelling, because quite frankly I have no idea how else you would spell it, other than ‘Target’. Stfu.). (Great, now I’ve gone off storyline and the entire flow of this is wrong. I need to start over. *Ahem*)

I remember like it was yesterday:

One day last April, I walked into Tarzjay with little direction, and walked out with freedom.

Freedom from The Man. Freedom from responsibility. Freedom from everything life sucks at.

Dear, friends - I walked out with the v-neck undershirt, and I’ve never felt better.

Long gone are the days of crew-neck undershirts while at work. Long gone are the wantings to rip off my shirt Hulk-style and smash it to bits while screaming loudly.

Long gone is the shackle around my neck.

Hooray, I say. Hooray – hooray – hooray.

I am free… I am free… I am free.

(Now work is more like a non-work day, except that I still have to go into the office, but still do similar things to when it’s a non-work day, per usual. Good.)

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The most important of all shirts

Captain’s Logbook
February 4th, 2011
Day 12

Just twelve days into the journey and we already had a bad day. After only 30 minutes into the morning, it had come to my attention that I had run out of shirts. No, not button-downs, long-sleeved, polo’s, or the sweater-likes. No. I had run out of the most important of all shirts: the undershirt.

After allowing panic to set in for a moment, my hand raised and swung across my face. I quickly slapped myself and emerged from the daze. I ran to the closet. I scoured the racks for something white with short sleeves to wear under one of the more usual shirts listed above.

I came across on shirt, and put it on. The neckline, unfortunately, was worn and un-presentable. I quickly threw it to the floor. Back to the closet I ran.

Looking at all the colors, none fit the category of white. Almost everything was colored, and did not fit the bill.

Then, on the shelf above, sandwiched under a stack of folded clothes, a glimmer of white caught my eye.

There it was! I had found exactly what I was looking for.

I pulled the shirt out, shook it in the wind, raised it above my head, and put it on. I briskly walked to the mirror for inspection. “This one will do the job” I exclaimed.

I quickly put on the more usual shirt of the day over the undershirt and moved to charge head-on toward the day.

I hadn’t looked back until now.

We are very fortunate there was no bloodshed during such an event on this leg of the journey.

We can thank our lucky stars for today.

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Goals (aim with ambition) – A Haiku

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Set your goals up high
Aim for them and try to reach
Ambition is right

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More Random, with a side of inspiration

I like that whenever I post about 30 Seconds To Mars there’s always a few hits from Google. They’re not quality hits, but hits nonetheless and count as visitors. Of course, these hits aren’t spending any time on my site whatsoever, and whenever I look I don’t see my site on the first few pages of search results and wonder how they came about. But I still like it. I remember the first time I posted about 30STM, I had a couple weeks of crazy site visits from the Ukraine and the Russia area. When I sought out the originating site, I couldn’t read it. Oh well

Also, this post happens to be on the first page of Google results for ‘writings about hobbies’. Good.

More also, I’m throwing around the idea of having a weekly publication on the site, perhaps called “The Weekly Items of Note” or something like that. It will comprise random things from around the interwebs, my life, friend’s lives, post comments, and perhaps highlights from the week’s posts as well. Or none of that. What are your thoughts on this? Do you want to see a weekly ‘something’ like that? Other blogs do it – have you had enough?

And the final also, I’m in good spirits today. Yesterday I made an important decision which I hope heralds in a new age of my life, marked with prosperity, entertainment, and true value. My hopes are up and my spirits are high; what else can I ask for?

I hope all is well in your world. If it’s not, get after it and put things in line. You know what you need to do.

Now repeat after me: “I make my own destiny.”

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Current State, Lately

It’s been a while since I’ve seen Rooster Man. In fact, it’s been a while since I’ve been to the establishment where I would see him, so it’s no surprise. Probably because of winter, and a lack of interest, and the holidays, and/or who knows what else.

I’ve struggled lately to get good-quality content up on the site. Poetry & prose have been a staple, but lately it seems I’ve lost cause to post. That, or I’ve simply been in a rut, or in a spell of a lack of inspiration or creativity. If you recall, I set out to post once a day to force myself into writing, not in a forcible sense, but in a good-practice sense; force myself to explore and hone my skills at writing.

And here I am. Struggling with interest, struggling with what to put out, struggling to get beyond a one-liner thought. Development of a picture, of theme, is not the easiest thing to do when you’re uninterested, lack creativity at the moment, or just don’t want to write.

Subsequently, as mentioned previously, there hasn’t been other topics to write on, again, probably because of winter, a lack of interest, the holidays, and who knows what else. Usually if there isn’t something in the poetry & prose department, there is something in the other departments to write on, typically with a slight of humor. But even that has been lacking. I’ll attribute that to my slowing lifestyle. And winter.

I need to get back on the wagon. Simple as that. Is there a twelve-step program available?

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absolute emptiness – in haiku

empty is the mind

that remains idle, and its

hands are too active

empty is body

when it is left to waste, self-

-beaten, weak, -abused

empty is the heart

that cannot find a true love

vices found instead

empty is the soul

of those who are blind by faith

and those blind by none

empty are beings

who do not properly tend:

mind, body, heart, soul

Want more haiku?

Enjoy:

Haikus To Save The World / Those Eyes

Haikus From Space / Little Mosquito

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Haiku To Save The World

hippies from the day
‘peace’, ‘love’, and ‘no war’ abound,
jaded at present

we should go back to
the Earth-loving ways of old
to save tomorrow

recycle, reuse,
reduce waste and resource use,
remember nature

the things we should do
to help make a better world,
arm-in-arm we’ll stand

we can save the world
for them, our children’s children,
one step at a time

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Where do you draw the line?

Q: “If you’re a blogger, where do you draw the line? Do you even have one? And how do you find the courage to cross it?”

Although I have been consistently posting for only a few months now, I have had other blogs in the past. Long ago my old blog used to be a place for my true feelings, my inner thoughts, and my demons too. I look back and wonder if letting those thoughts out and creating words on a screen helped… maybe they did, maybe they didn’t – I’m not sure.

Now, my new blog is mostly geared toward the funny, albeit dry humor, and sometimes poetry. The stories with a touch of humor allow me to express my humoristic side, while the poetry sometimes allows for a more serious, or exploratory dive, into many different expressions of emotion.

My new blog was intended to give an audience something to read, something to enjoy, and something to keep coming back to. Thus, by design, my blog isn’t meant to be a daily portrayal of the humdrum, the boring, the negative thoughts, or sad feelings; it is designed to be an outlet of my humoristic character, with a touch of art and expression here and there. Because of this, I will likely steer away from the off-topic demons and sadness… unless I’m immediately moved to express them to the world in this venue.

I don’t know if this gives you direction, but I hope it goes to show that it’s ok to have a design, or theme, to a blog… it’s yours; do with it what you want.

-JRM

*The above has been adapted from a response of mine to Sassy’s post: Where’s The Line – Or The Lie?


And with that –

Thank you all for reading, commenting, and (hopefully) enjoying; it’s been a pleasure!

…Now let’s get out there and have some fun!!!

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The Human Spirit and Opportunity

There is something to be said about the human spirit – it takes a lot to break it down, and it takes a lot to keep it on the ground. More times than not, it’s up again in due time.

It’s tough to stay positive when it seems that nothing good is happening, and I understand that. I also know that it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when our eyes are closed.

I propose we keep our eyes open, ready, willing, and able to see the slightest of opportunities – the opportunities of our tomorrow: the opportunities we are given, as well as those we create ourselves.

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Shout-outs & thank-yous

To the visitor in or near Lusaka, Zambia: Hello. Thank you for visiting. How in the world did you come across my blog?

To Betsy: Welcome!

Garth: Don’t let it stop flowing.

Ms. Amy: Keep up the good work.

Everyday Goddess, Jingle, & Berowne: Each time I visit, I enjoy your offerings.

Julie: Your photo’s are beautiful and inspiring. Thank you.

My dear Tadders: Get back on the wagon. You know you can.

Conly: Yes, you too have inspired, and we all thank you for that.

To the email/RSS readers and those who happen upon my blog: Welcome, and thank you for visiting!

And last, but not least: To those who visit from Theme Thursday and Magpie Tales – thanks for your kind words, I really appreciate them. Many times, your words are what inspires me to continue the writing.


Thank you

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He went to save the world

On my way to University, I thought I would be able to solve the world’s problems.
I thought to myself: yes, yes I can do that. I cannot wait. I just know I can.

I got to my room and started my studies soon after my arrival.
Philosophy and psychology, physics and astronomy, those were the subject I came to learn.

Sir Stephen Hawking has always been an inspiration.
Mr. Albert Einstein and Mr. Richard Feynman were both inspirations, too.
Mr. Sigmund Freud, I didn’t have much taste for, but Mr. Pavlov certainly inspired.
And especially Dr. Michio Kaku, I hoped to shake his hand one day.

One night, late after my studies, I settled in to solve the problems.
Paper on my desk, ready as can be.
Pencil sharpened, also as ready as can be.

I sat and I pondered, I sat and I waited, I sat and I struggled…
Just to put only a few words on the page.

What was I to solve? What problem should I tackle?
How can I help the world first and foremost?

Unfortunately, nothing came to mind; no ideas, no thoughts, no inklings of anything.
But I know I can do this, I just know that I can.
Why aren’t I yet solving the greater issues of man?
After three hours I closed my eyes: I’ll return to this later, when I am more wise.

As the days went on and classes grew long, Fall turned to Winter, and Spring soon called.
I continued in my chair – my desk was worn, my elbows sore, but my pencil’s still sharp, and ready as a spear.

“I got it!” I exclaimed. I knew right where to start.
“I’ll show them” I told myself, as my mind began to spark.
I was embarking on a journey that would save us all,
and onto the paper I quickly wrote:

“We must love one another and give respect to all.”

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What is your inspiration?

Inspiration can come from anywhere, and out of nowhere. Inspiration is what moves us forward, as an individual and as the human race. Inspiration is what provokes us to dream big, and to try something new. Inspiration is the bud of all creation, both large and small.

I challenge you to open your mind to the inspirations in any given day. Even in the harshest of winters, and the most challenging of times, inspiration is abound – you just have you open your mind.

Yesterday, the company I work for held our annual associate form at a nearby hotel. There was the usual food and the usual people, and of course the speaker of the day. This day, much like other similar days, the speaker had a story that was very unique. No, she didn’t have to overcome adversity to become a success; she was a single mother of twins, a business executive, and trained for and competed in the Eco-Challenge. Sure, her time and energy was challenged, but adversity was not the case.

I think that’s why I liked what she had to say: she was relatively usual, in that she could have been any one of us… any one of us who had the inspiration, the drive, and the direction that she harnessed. I think she proved to me that a lot of things are possible, so long as you put your mind to them and find inspiration to go on.

So again, I challenge you to open your mind to the inspirations in your day. It is out there, just open away…

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