Zombies in the News! (You may learn something. Nothing that would save your life, though.)

It’s been a long, long time since I last posted about zombies, so I offer you this historical info to peruse at your lehzure):


Apparently at one point (August 11, 1950 to be exact), someone thought that Koreans were zombies from the USSR. I guess that’s a little strange, and probably a gross misinterpretation of the Korean people.

On October 17, 1944, someone thought it would be neat to give jobs to the zombie population, because they’re people too.

In 1937, zombies were Republicans, sent all their laundry to Maine, and ate their dinners out of a crack barrels (whatever those are).

In 2009, researchers became finally sure that zombies would kill us dead if things start to go down.

And at least one city council in the world has had to admit recently its preparation shortcomings in regard to a zombie attack.


So there you have it. Zombies. Now go read my other posts on this subject.

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The Highlights (not the painting hairs kind)

We’re getting near the 1-year mark on this blog. A lot of you haven’t been around that long, so I thought it a good idea to highlight a few of the older posts to introduce you to the early days (and because I don’t have anything new to write about at the moment). So, here you go. Enjoy!


The first “real” post was somehow based solely on motion-sensing faucets and other motion-sensing items. Turns out they’re something like magic. Find that post here.

Over time I’ve had quite a few posts on cats: how it’s natural to be wary of a cat – cats are unique in a strange way, not a normal way – and – cats that will kill you are three of said posts. Please, explore. Cat lovers are welcome. Cat dislikers will probably understand better, though.

I’ve also written about zombies here, eating “zombie” here, and about zombie mosquitoes here. You may be surprised…

I have even wrote about cold elbows. Why cold elbows? Because they’re gross. Find out more here.


I think that will suffice for now. Please, feel free to take a look around and explore with the topic tags. There’s quite a few to choose from! Dare I say something for everyone?

Enjoy!

Zombies and the former Land of Good Living, aka Florida

I haven’t written much about zombies lately, or cats. Or zombie cats (which I’m still awaiting confirmation of). Maybe I’ll do a quick search now to see what’s on the interwebs that might be of value.

Nothing so far. Of value that is…

Well look at this, I found University of Florida’s disaster preparedness simulation exercise for a zombie attack. It even has an infected coworker dispatch form. I particularly enjoy the ‘symptoms’ section.

Its purpose is stated as follows: “The purpose of this exercise is to discern appropriate strategies for responding to a zombie attack and/or infection that might affect the University of Florida campus.”

Why haven’t they shared this with the rest of us?

There is also a book entitled ‘Theories of International Politics and Zombies’.

And Scott McLemee informs us that, “The output in cultural commodities about the living dead [was not slowed] by the economic downturn… On the contrary. Today, the danger that cannibalistic ghouls might swarm the planet, laying waste to the routines of everyday life, is, if not exactly plausible, at any rate part of the standard repertoire of worst-case scenarios.”

Sure is.

McLemee continues: “By Drezner’s account [the author of the above-mentioned book], no single approach to international politics -- whether realist or liberal, neoconservative or constructivist -- would provide the “magic bullet” for solving the crisis.”

Sure wouldn’t.

Oh, and he also informs us that “all zombies, by default, practice realpolitik.” See, you learn something new every day!

This all can mean only one thing for you and me: buy a few bats, along with food, water, a couple axes, and swords, and/or guns. And prepare to fend for your life. At some point. Maybe. But definitely just in case. Because these items are also good for non-zombie-related apocalypses (apocalypi?), and other various life activities, of course.

Enjoy!

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The Walking Dead: A Review

It seems I haven’t chatted about zombies in a while. I’m not interested in researching to see the last time I did, but I assume it’s been at least a month or two.

Three nights ago I was watching TV. And on that TV came a commercial, a commercial for The Walking Dead, the new series on AMC. The spot caught my attention so I quickly went online to see what it was all about. Turns out I missed the entire first season. It also turns out that they just so happened to be airing an encore showing of season 1 the following two nights. Thus, I promptly set my DVR to record the following night’s showing of the full season.

Last night I sat down and started watching, say about 7:00pm. Ish. Come 12:30am, I went to bed after watching all 6 episodes of season 1. I just couldn’t stop watching.

Surprisingly, The Walking Dead has a pretty deep plot and storyline. It’s not just about zombies (which they aptly call ‘walkers’); it’s about the struggle to survive in a post-collapse of all society after an outbreak which causes people to contract a disease which kills them and then after some time brings them back to life. Of course, there’s the ‘get-bitten-and-turn-into-one-of-them’ thing going on as well.

Also surprisingly, after the first couple episodes, there is a lower reliance on zombie scenes and a greater reliance on struggle and survival. It’s actually quite good and I can’t wait for season 2.

If you can, check it out. It will certainly help to follow along from episode 1 to the next, and so forth. The story line keeps moving at a brisk pace and easily pulls you in. There aren’t many cliffhangers, but there is a good dose of suspense throughout.

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Zombies (But No Cats) (Or Maybe One Cat)

OK, here we go.

I think it’s time to post some zombie news.

---Begin Message---

*****BULLETIN*****

First, there is this book: 501 Things to do with a Zombie
-just in case you were at a loss of ideas

Next, there is this: Nicole from More is Better has hypothesized (at least once) that “the internet is being run by zombies who are trying to make my forehead more delicious before they bite into it and suck my brain out.”
-curiously enough, this originates from research into a home remedy for sinus pain

Savage Chickens suggests that zombies (or at least chicken zombies (which are not unlike cat zombies except for the physicality of the two)) only want to be loved, but can only say “brains” so clearly there’s a miscommunication issue here between humans and zombies.

Then there’s the British Automobile Association, a car insurance provider, who has likened wearers of iPods (and other MP3 players, including smartphone users) to zombies, saying that these people have been “guilty of not paying attention to the traffic around them”… thus creating a zombie state of actions, and aptly naming them 'zombie walkers'.

Next is, of course, the headline of the week:
“Minneapolis will pay $165,000 to zombies”

And finally, hydrofracking has caused people to turn into zombies (in a movie at least). Apparently there’s an environmental zombie thriller out there…

Fortunately still, there is no news on cat zombies (except for this cat, which has not made headlines yet).

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be on the lookout.

---End Message---

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Spilt Drinks, Piano Costumes, and a Weasel

My update to Facebook last night at 11:12pm:

“Somehow… I don’t know how… but I had a drink spill in my lap. A whole drink. It’s not mine. My shorts are soaked. Specifically: rt. leg”

After dinner last night we went over to Coyote Ugly. I hadn’t been there before. ...That was an interesting experience.

Also: someone found their way to my blog yesterday through a Google search for ‘piano costume’. They landed on my ‘A Bride. A Piano. A Costume Party?’ post. Clearly, after glancing at the short blurb under the search result they decided that my blog just might have said piano costumes…

…wtf is a piano costume anyway? If anything, wouldn’t it be a tuxedo?

And also: I was surprised yesterday when my blog was mentioned on Poets United’s The Life of a Poet, featuring Weasel this week. He listed me as one of three poets he likes to read or visit the most.

Thanks again, Weasel – I appreciate it!

And more also: there’s been new activity in the topics of cats and zombies (fortunately though, no reports of cat zombies yet - that would be worthy of a stand-alone post; so important that it couldn’t be held in waiting for additional material). More on those topics at a later date.

Goodbye.

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Murder Kitten, Vampire Kitten, Cyborg Kitty – BEWARE!!!

I suddenly realized that I haven’t posted about cats lately and feel it’s about time to do that again. Thus, in continuing my pseudo-pursuit of “getting the word out” and “warning” about cats and highlighting the “curiosities” of the existence of cats, here are a few things to consider:

--BEGIN SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT--

Kitten Thinks Of Nothing But Murder All Day (see links below)
From:
- Sassy’s Scene From A Marriage: Here, Kitty, Kitty
and
- The Onion

And also:
- Cyborg kitty watches you sleep
and
- Vampire kittens
(From: I am your Canadian boyfriend)

…It’s clear that I’m not the only one concerned about this.

Fortunately though, I haven't heard anything about zombie cats... yet.


And of course, in case you haven’t seen my other discussions on the topic of cats:
- Cats are unique in a strange way, not a normal way…
and
- It’s natural to be wary of a cat… of any kind


-- END SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT --

Thank you.

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Interesting tidbit

Interesting tidbit: at the time of posting, anyone who searches “motion sensing faucets for zombies” on Google will find my blog in the #2 spot. If another person searches “zombies, motion sensing faucets” on Google, they’ll find my blog in the #1 spot.

While I enjoy the posts I’ve written about zombies (here and here), and the one about motion sensing faucets, I’m not so sure anyone would ever search for them together, thus leaving Workspace Writings low in the search results otherwise.

However, “motion sensing faucets for cats” lands the blog on the second page of results, which is undoubtedly higher than the outcome of separate topic searches described above, and seems to be a more viable search phrase, especially since someone has already searched for “motion sensing faucets for cats” at least once and managed to land on my blog.

I don’t know that I want to corner the zombie-cat-motion-sensing-faucet search result market; I doubt there’s much value in it, and few probably think to search of those topics together.

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Little Mosquito

Little mosquito,
Where is it you have flown from?
Your name sounds Spanish

This haiku came from a book that Ms. Amy gave to me yesterday as a gift. Oddly enough, the book is entitled Zombie Haiku by Ryan Mecum. Ms. Amy is also the one who gave me the zombie mints… the brain flavored ones… Why this haiku is in a book such as this, I’m not sure, but I thoroughly enjoy it.

This haiku brings up two questions in my mind: 1) can blood-sucking insects become zombies? And 2) are mosquitoes from Spain?

To the first: no clue, but my instinct suggests that they can’t. However, it should be noted that if insects such as mosquitoes can carry diseases and transmit said diseases from one person to another, then it stands to reason that a mosquito can at least carry the zombie disease and spread it to others. See here for a quick read from the Zombie Research Society on the topic. Basically it says that while mosquitoes would not be attracted to zombies (because they’re dead, and thus would not feed on them), it may be possible for a mosquito to feed on a person who has recently contracted the zombie disease and is still in the incubation stage, prior to becoming a zombie.

To the second: yes, mosquitoes are from Spain. Well, maybe they’re not from Spain, but their name has a Spanish origin (via Mosquito.org):

“The Spanish called the mosquitoes "musketas," and the native Hispanic Americans called them "zancudos." "Mosquito" is a Spanish or Portuguese word meaning "little fly" while "zancudos," a Spanish word, means "long-legged." The use of the word "mosquito" is apparently of North American origin and dates back to about 1583.”

Also to note: there are mosquito ringtones and some sort of device to prevent loitering that goes by the name “The Mosquito”.

Who knew such a tiny insect had this much influence… minus its malaria implications of course.

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Never eat something with zombie in the name

As a general rule, it’s best to never eat something with zombie in the name… a couple (pretty bad) things could result:

1) if you eat something with zombie in the name, you may actually turn into a zombie. This typically isn’t a good thing since people don’t usually want zombies hanging around trying to eat brains. Granted, it may be cool to be a zombie for a while, but that’s not an everlasting state of existence. Plus, it seems like a waste of time since it’s only a matter of time before someone chops your head off… or blows you up… or sets the house on fire that you happen to be searching for brains in, at which time you would be set on fire. You probably won’t “die” at that point since they haven’t chopped your head off yet, but you’re still on fire… and you’re essentially a walking torch… I retract my prior statement of this being a waste of time.

2) if you eat something with zombie in the name, it might actually taste like zombie. This arguably is as worse as, or worse than, eating something with zombie in the name and turning into a zombie. Case in point: a coworker thought it a good idea to buy some zombie brain mints on her recent trip and bring them back for me. While I appreciate the gesture and enjoy a good novelty candy now and then, especially a good mint, what she offered up was certainly not a mint by any measure. I suspect the company that makes these mints raises and harvests zombies for their various parts, somehow juices their brains, and puts said juice into said “mints”. Needless to say, the mints taste the way you would expect zombie brains to taste – horrible. Horrible to start, so horrible you can’t finish, and a horrible aftertaste that doesn’t go away.

Of course I couldn’t keep these to myself, so I tried to convince a few coworkers to eat a “mint” for a good laugh.

For some reason they weren’t interested.

They probably knew better judging by the name…

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