Will somebody stop the boredom? Please?

Lately it seems I spend my days mostly trying not to stab myself in the eye. Not because of my work environment, annoying coworkers, stupid people, or too much work; no, that would make too much sense.

It’s mostly due to my growing boredom with life. Work’s boring, after-work’s boring, hell… even sleep is boring since I don’t dream very much (that I can remember at least).

Running off to Africa, Europe, or Australia (or all three) seems to be the only option for excitement these days.

Or maybe I should become a carpenter…

Or join a circus…

Or buy a horse and ride across America. Alongside the interstates. With dog trotting beside.

Whatever it is, it better make haste because I’m growing impatient.

_

Nefarious envelopes, and I'm published. Good day, sir or ma'am.

Not really though… but kinda yes. But also kinda no.

You may recall a while back when I mentioned my writing being selected for a poetry book. Well, yesterday a strange manila envelope arrived in the mail all taped up from a strange location in Michigan that was unknown to me with a return address “person or other entity” noted as ‘NAR’. Clearly, had I been a politician, I would have called the bomb squad immediately. But I am not a politician, so I only considered the option heavily prior to gently opening the package while making sure my dogs face kept away and my hands improperly shielded should something nefarious happen.

Sure enough, nothing happened other than the envelope opening per normal protocol. Lo and behold, it was one of the two copies I purchased of the book. You can find it here: New Art Review.

Pass the word.

Oh, and also? Check out the new WW’s Weekly Items of Note.

Should be a blast.

Welp!

_

Yeah, no. Go back to sleep.

aka: "Dreams and Night Terrors: What we do when we sleep"


Xtina: i had a dream that you and i were living together at my mom's house
my mom wasn't there though, i guess she was in florida
but my dad stopped by periodically, which was weird
and we had dogs
lots of dogs
big ones
no foofie dogs
and we had about 8 or 9 of them

Me: weird
i woke up screaming and about to fight the creepy girl standing in the corner by the window.

Xtina: shut. up.

Me: yeah
that was a blast

**End copy/paste function**

So over the past, say, 8 months or so, maybe a year, every now and then I’ll see something in my sleep that startles the hell out of me, freaks me out, wakes me up, and forces me to scream a bit, only to find that nothing’s there.

One time I woke up to a guy standing next to the bed who was wearing welding goggles and a dark work suit. I actually jumped out of bed, ran across the bedroom to the bathroom and slammed the door shut, all while screaming “WHO THE F*@% ARE YOU!!! WHO THE F*@% ARE YOU!!! WHO THE F*@% ARE YOU!!!” I then turned the bathroom light on and quickly opened the door, only to find no one standing there.

Yup. That actually happened.

What did my dog do? She stayed in her bed, looking at me like ‘wtf, mate’.

What did she do the other night? I heard a thump-thump-thump-thump from her direction… her tail was wagging under the blanket all excited like, probably thinking something fun was going on. Yeah, no. Go back to sleep.

_

It’s natural to be wary of a cat… of any kind

The subject of ‘bring your children to work day’ came up and it was suggested that I bring in my dog and a coworker bring in her cat. The discussion continued on about the usual ‘dog will chase cat’ and typical cat/dog hoopla. I mentioned about the one or two times my dog had met a cat, and how she was wary from the beginning of each event. I also commented how I would be wary too, both if I were a dog and as a human.

Cats are different creatures than dogs (obviously), but in key ways that make other animals more like dogs than cats are like dogs. Granted you have the four-legged, tail, paw, general feature similarities… but that’s pretty much where it stops. Personality goes a long way when sizing up a dog or cat, if you can even say an animal has a “personality” (or maybe animality?).

As nature would have it, lions, tigers, leopards, and housecats alike cannot be immediately trusted; dogs, on the other hand, can be either immediately trusted or distrusted. Anyone who has ever met a cat can probably attest to this.

The issue (as I suggested to my coworker), is that from initially greeting a dog you know whether or not the animal is friendly, interested in or frightened by you, or even if it’s about to attack; cats, on the other hand, well… you have no clue what they’re thinking… ever... They just keep staring at you, sizing you up for pretty much the entire duration of the encounter. Sure, sometimes they just run away into another room or hide behind a couch, but there are many times when they just sit there watching, staring at you. And that’s all they do. No coming up to sniff and check you out, no saying hello and giving you a chance. Just sitting and staring. Sometimes very creepily, I might add.

This is why cats make some people wary.

_