Saturday, February 26, 2011

Friday, February 25, 2011

OoO (<--- Not an Owl)

In case you can’t tell, that’s short for Out of Office. Although, it looks like an owl to me, so I won’t blame you if you came into this thinking it would be about an owl. Perhaps one I came across in the dark of night? One that was sitting on a limb hooting away being all owl-like? Perhaps it swooped down and came at me like a, well, an owl? Nope. No owls here. Move along – nothing to see.

I’m heading out of town for the weekend, skiing in Steamboat Springs.

You should check it out sometime.

Actually, no… no you shouldn’t. We don’t need any more traffic on I-70.

So… go to a beach state instead? Or the Ozarks? Or the Pacific Northwest?

Yes, they all sound to be lovely options.

Thanks for your understanding. Have a good weekend.


Thursday, February 24, 2011


I love barbeque. You may too. Even if you’re a vegetarian, I’m sure you can appreciate the tastiness of its sauces and typical sides.

Cut to the chase: one of my favorite BBQ joints is in Burlington, NC – Hursey’s BBQ to be exact. I spent some time in NC many years ago and fell in love with the NC style BBQ and have craved it for many, many years.

Soon, that crave will be satisfied. Or, I’ll crave it even more.

I’ve often thought of taking a weekend trip just for the BBQ (and for the few friends in the area, of course). Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened once in the past 10 years.

Yesterday, though? While on business in NC, Con Lee drove hours to Burlington just to get me a couple bottles of sauce. He also had a pork sandwich and some Brunswick Stew. I’m jealous.

So, here’s to you, Mr. Con Lee… thank you for procuring the sauce.




Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Lil Wayne, Indiana

This post has nothing to do with Lil Wayne. This post also has nothing to do with Wayne, Indiana or Fort Wayne, Indiana (which are roughly 2 hours apart, directly North and South of each other).

Moreover, this post has nothing to do with Indiana at all (minus the tidbit of info listed above). In fact, there is no post – I simply wanted to get “Lil Wayne, Indiana” out of my head.

At least it was educational.

Thank you.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Coyotes at the ATM

You may not understand, but it clearly states something about coyotes at the ATM. What the coyotes are doing at the ATM is anyone’s guess, however.

There’s also a slight chance that this is a bank heist note – seemingly written last minute at a diner or coffee shop somewhere just minutes before the robbers leapt into action. Though, what coyotes at the ATM have to do with a bank heist, I’m not sure.

If I were to write a bank heist note, it would say something like: “give me the money.” Or, if I were to use this note, I would expand on the idea before handing to the teller: “there are coyotes at the ATM outside, give me all the money or I’ll call them in to eat you.”


Sunday, February 20, 2011

WW’s Weekly Items of Note – V.1, I.4

Welcome to
WW’s Weekly Items of Note
Don’t forget to Share with a friend!

In this issue you’ll find:
From the interwebs
The week’s blogging

Now let's get started!

From the interwebs:

The week’s blogging:
---End weekly transmission---

Don’t forget to Share with a friend!


Friday, February 18, 2011

That’s not water damage… That’s from a swing?

…a sex swing to be exact.

A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, arrived at his apartment yesterday after work to find that his bed was made. Thinking it was nice of his wife to do so (apparently it’s uncommon in their household for the bed to be made on a regular basis), he didn’t think much of it.

Then he noticed a hole in his ceiling. A square cut-out that he, nor his wife, had done.

They began to wonder. Then they called me to confirm their next move. They then called their apartment management company to find out what was going on and to ensure there wasn’t any nefarious activities while they were gone for the day. No note was left by maintenance personnel, so things obviously seemed strange and most definitely out of place.

After a quick call to the management company and then a call back to me, I learned that a notice had been sent previously which stated that maintenance personnel may come in and fix water damage if they see anything. So there you have it… Case closed.

…But there was no water damage in their ceiling. And his wife didn’t make the bed that morning.

Apparently the maintenance person saw holes in the ceiling which were thought to be water damage and made the bed before cutting the hole.

Actually though?

The holes were drilled previously for the purpose of a sex swing.


Thursday, February 17, 2011

OCD and an abundance of estrogen

I subscribe to a ridiculous amount of RSS feeds. My Google Reader is overflowing with unread posts, most of which remain unread as I pass them by and ‘mark all read’ to a good majority of feeds.

Why don’t I just unsubscribe, you say? Probably because of my OCD and a real concern that I’ll miss something that I won’t read anyway.

How does any of this make sense? It doesn’t. Why should you care? You shouldn’t. Unless I subscribe to your feed. At which time you should care. But because I’m not your only subscriber, you don’t have to worry. And if your posts are even mildly funny, I probably read your feed every day and you still don’t have to worry.

What I’ll do next is introduce a few of the blogs I read daily, or whenever there’s a new post. Enjoy!

(In no specific order)

Jamie the Very Worst Missionary
The Bloggess
The Sassy Curmudgeon
The Pits of Being Peachy
Hyperbole and a Half
More is Better

Disclosure: All of the above bloggers are female.

Does this mean only females blog? No. Does this mean that only female bloggers write quality “fun/ny” content? Probably not. Could my Google Reader use more male bloggers who write quality “fun/ny” content? Probably. Can you suggest some? I don’t know, can you?


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Backing up here! Watch out! Stay for the show!

Beep – Beep – Beep – Beep

I witnessed this morning a woman back her car into a parking spot with a curb on her left and no cars to the right…

only to back up, pull forward, and pull back again to try and fit in the spot…

only to get out to walk away and see she had a good 3 feet before her rear bumper was at the curb…

only to get back into her car and back up further, which I assume was the last time because I didn’t want to stand and watch the show.

I say, if you can’t back into a spot with minimal adjustment after the first try – don’t back into the spot in the first place. And if you can’t gauge your distance from the curb to your rear bumper – don’t back into the spot in the first place. And if there’s a chance you’ll have to get back into your car and try again after backing up once – say it with me now – don’t back into the spot in the first place.

Thus concludes today’s sermon.


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Your Christmas decorations are still up? Yes, they’re helping out, actually.

My Christmas decorations are still up. I attribute this to a lack of time and an abundance of items to accomplish. Mostly, though, I attribute it to my lack of interest in putting away the decorations.

I will state, however, that I didn’t put up many decorations this year; I opted for my 3’ fake tree that was leftover from my apartments days which just so happens to fit perfectly in the space above the fireplace, where my old TV used to sit.

In fact, if and when I take down the tree, I’ll have a blatant void in the room and a definite need to fill the space with something else that I currently do not own.

So, in many ways, by leaving up my Christmas decorations I’m also saving money. Which is a good thing.

…What. Stop judging me. You wish your Christmas decorations saved YOU money.


Monday, February 14, 2011

The most important of all tickets…

I went to the Umphrey’s McGee show Friday night. Other than the show being great, it turned out to be pretty eventful.

While in line halfway to the door, my friend turned to me and said she lost her ticket. The very same ticket I gave her earlier before standing in line, for which she hadn’t paid me yet.

She proceeded to purchase another ticket while I went inside and met up with me later.

Once inside, I checked my coat and received a ticket for it. I proceeded to get a drink and then headed to the floor.

After a while into the show, I purchased another drink.

After an even longer time, I reached into my pocket to take inventory of its contents, something I regularly do when out in public, and which I had done previously in the night.

I realized then I had lost my ticket, much like my friend had lost her ticket earlier in the evening. Under normal circumstances I would have thought nothing of it because I was already inside… but this was not a normal circumstance.

You see, I had ticket number 1. The first ticket of all tickets to the show. THEE very first ticket sold. Numero uno. Ticket #1.

You can imagine that it was very, very disappointing to learn I had lost my ticket. Thus began a formal search of the floor – everywhere I had been standing after getting the second drink.

So there I was, while band playing, wandering slowly with drink in hand all around the venue where I had been previously. Unfortunately, after some time of looking in places, re-looking, and going back again to the same places a third time, I hadn’t found my ticket. I found other pieces of paper, but not my ticket. Not ticket #1. Nor did I find any other numbered ticket.

All the while, I kept checking my pockets, all of them, again and again, in disbelief that I had lost my ticket, in hopes of finding it hanging out as if nothing happened (perhaps my mind was playing tricks on me?).

Each time I checked my pockets no ticket appeared.

However, the other ticket was still in my pocket, which is when I realized that the concert ticket really isn’t of great importance, and I was making a big deal of nothing.

And that’s when it hit me – I still held the most important of all tickets… the coat check ticket!

You see, if you lost that ticket, you’re likely never to see your coat again, making it truly, the most important of all tickets.

Of course, after time went by, still in disbelief, I reached into my pocket again to check – and what did I find along with the most important of all tickets?

Ticket number 1.

Hanging out.

Just sittin’ in my pocket. Snug-like the entire time.

Apparently playing magic-man with me all night long.


Friday, February 11, 2011

The most challenging dining experience

Let’s recap: I posted last night about the Daylight Saving Time bill here in Colorado, and how if it passed it would actually have been 12:__am, not 11:00pm. Because we recently ‘fell back’ in time. The one-sentence I wrote wore me out even further than my evening did.

So here’s the rest of the story:

We went out to dinner last night, a late dinner actually, because I had to work. This story has nothing to do with work. We arrived at our dining establishment around 8:45pm according to my check-in on Yelp. By 9:30 we had not received our food.

What did we order? Two appetizers and two meals (a salad and a steak sammy). Why did we order so much food, you ask? Because we had $40 to spend, in one visit only, and we didn’t order drinks.

What took things so long? Apparently because it was the last night of the Living Social deal, the place was very busy. And they were short staffed.

For the record, we tried to attend dinner there two nights prior, but they were closed “due to inclement weather” which, come to find out, means “it was 15 degrees, and not good for business.” OK. Whatever.

So our food finally came out. What food? Oh, you know, just one appetizer and our two meals. At once. Which I hate. Where was the other appetizer? Cooking:

“It was the last thing they put in.” Oh. Alright.

So we ate our app, and then we went for our meals. There was an item missing from my sammy, here’s the replay of how that went down:

Me: They forgot the roasted red peppers on my sandwich, can I get a side of those?
Waitress: Sure, I can do that!
Waitress upon return: They didn’t tell me, they’re out of those, sorry!
Me: How about a side of the sweet pepper relish?
Waitress as she grabs hold of her hair nervously: Yeah, no, they’re out.
Me: No, not the roasted red peppers, do they have any sweet pepper relish?
Waitress, flustered: I’ll go see.
Waitress upon return: No, yeah, they’re out.
Me: They’re out of both the roasted red peppers and the sweet pepper relish?
Waitress, growing more nervous: Yes. They’re the same thing I guess?
Me: No, the sweet pepper relish is different.
Waitress: Oh. Well I guess they’re made of the same thing?
Me: Oh, okay. Never mind then.

That. Happened.

So, on I went, roasted-red-pepper-less. And ketchup-less also, but I’m not getting into that.

The waitress came back to tell me that she’s taking a couple dollars off because of the confusion. Good. Good to see.

When did the missing app show? Oh, right when we were basically ready for to-go containers and had finished our meals.

Why didn’t the apps come out first? No clue. Couldn’t say… but by then it was going on an hour and a half.

We still had to meet the forty-dollars-of-free-food-quota, so we ordered a slice of pie after the waitress informed us they didn’t have what we wanted which was on the menu.

Then the waitress came by to inform us that she had taken my sammy off the bill and that we had only spent $33 by that point.

Great. Now we have even more money to spend.

“Can we get an order of the chicken fingers to go?”

“Let me check.”

“No, the kitchen just closed. Your pie was the last thing out.”

Good. God.

We gave up by that point. Paid only a tip since the bill was zero on account of us spending more than the allotted $40, only to have been comped a portion of that, and not being able to get any more food from the establishment.

Onward home we went.

And when I arrived, I opened my laptop and started the previous post. As you can see, by that point, it had become too much to continue writing.


Thursday, February 10, 2011

No post title because of read below.


Day? Thursday.

Time? 11:16pm.

Why? Because Colorado didn't past the No-Daylight-Saving-Time-BS bill which would have made it really... what... did we recently 'fall back'? I guess so... so, then it would be 12:16, now :19am. Yes, it took me 3 minutes to write, now 4 minutes, to write this line.


Well honestly, after all that effort, I have zero energy. That really was tolling. I was going to write a post about my tiring, most challenging, dining experience. I'll have to do that tomorrow, because that already took a lot out of me, and then there was what happened above. That's enough for one evening.



Facebook is a drug, not a hobby

“I need a hobby other than Facebook” was a search hit yesterday. It’s nice to see other people also have trouble finding hobbies. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one.

Although, I’m not sure that “Facebook” counted as a hobby in the first place… An addiction? Yes. Hobby? Probably no.

Good for you, “I need a hobby other than Facebook” searcher – the first step toward recovery is to recognize you have a problem. And taking the step to search the internet for something other than Facebook is commendable. Congratulations on beginning your journey.

For the rest of us? The slow-drip access to Facebook content from our smartphones throughout the day provide the juice that keeps us going, rather than having to fiend on the social media site for hours on end late into the evenings.

Maybe that’s what “I need a hobby other than Facebook” searcher needs – a smartphone to inject Facebook throughout the day instead of all at once after normal operating hours.


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Zombies and the former Land of Good Living, aka Florida

I haven’t written much about zombies lately, or cats. Or zombie cats (which I’m still awaiting confirmation of). Maybe I’ll do a quick search now to see what’s on the interwebs that might be of value.

Nothing so far. Of value that is…

Well look at this, I found University of Florida’s disaster preparedness simulation exercise for a zombie attack. It even has an infected coworker dispatch form. I particularly enjoy the ‘symptoms’ section.

Its purpose is stated as follows: “The purpose of this exercise is to discern appropriate strategies for responding to a zombie attack and/or infection that might affect the University of Florida campus.”

Why haven’t they shared this with the rest of us?

There is also a book entitled ‘Theories of International Politics and Zombies’.

And Scott McLemee informs us that, “The output in cultural commodities about the living dead [was not slowed] by the economic downturn… On the contrary. Today, the danger that cannibalistic ghouls might swarm the planet, laying waste to the routines of everyday life, is, if not exactly plausible, at any rate part of the standard repertoire of worst-case scenarios.”

Sure is.

McLemee continues: “By Drezner’s account [the author of the above-mentioned book], no single approach to international politics -- whether realist or liberal, neoconservative or constructivist -- would provide the “magic bullet” for solving the crisis.”

Sure wouldn’t.

Oh, and he also informs us that “all zombies, by default, practice realpolitik.” See, you learn something new every day!

This all can mean only one thing for you and me: buy a few bats, along with food, water, a couple axes, and swords, and/or guns. And prepare to fend for your life. At some point. Maybe. But definitely just in case. Because these items are also good for non-zombie-related apocalypses (apocalypi?), and other various life activities, of course.



Bigfoot is a pervert. There. I said it.

If only there was something fun to write about…

I’m doing my best to milk the weave sighting. Hopefully it will become as wide-spread as a Bigfoot sighting.

Speaking of Bigfoot, I DVR’d a two-hour special on the creature which detailed, at a high level, the pattern of world-wide sightings. It also explored three or four varying theories on the creature – it’s existence, what it could be, etc., etc., etc.

Oh, and it turns out that Bigfoot is a pervert. Don’t ask me why, but I started to Google: “Bigfoot is a…” and this is what it gave me for suggestions:


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Bonus Fries and Lost Weaves

If I worked at McDonald’s, I would put an extra nugget in everyone’s order of Chicken McNuggets. If I worked at Burger King, I would put two onion rings in every order of fries. Why? Because ‘bonus rings’ and ‘bonus fries’ are awesome. As are extra nuggets.

Also, have you or someone you love lost a hair weave? I found one lying next to the gas pump yesterday. If this looks familiar, if you’ve recently lost your hair weave, or know someone who recently lost theirs, please contact me. I’ll go back and see if it’s still there. Unless an employee thought it was a dead animal and picked it up so not to spread deadly diseases to the customers.


Monday, February 7, 2011

FaceMan’s First Waltz

Four hours of music, plenty of note-taking, a few drinks, and overall a good time: that’s what my Friday night looked like.

(Note: The following is not meant to be an all-encompassing review of all musicians who graced the stage; it is but a highlight of the music that hit me.)

FaceMan’s First Waltz: an eclectic showcase of local talent; a true compilation of the variety in Denver’s local music scene. It was a welcomed change from the norm of one-band/one-stage/one-type of music for an hour or two. If you weren’t familiar with Denver’s music, this was the event to see. 30+ local musicians sharing one stage. Not all at once, of course; they mixed and mingled throughout the evening on each other’s songs, creating an event that is now difficult to portray to those who were not there.

The first song hit with true emotion in FaceMan’s voice. It was clear that the music Steve sings is true to his heart and something he really feels. Poppy? No. Real? Yes.

Martin Gilmore, previously unknown to me (much like all others on stage) surely impressed the crowd with an absolutely awesome voice and great storytelling lyrics. Why he’s not touring nationally, I have no idea. But that’s the kind of voice he has.

Players from The Outfit and The Knew rocked the house and livened the crowd a bit, while the Boulder Acoustic Society leveled the field as they offered grace and added soul to the stage.

Chadzilla from Slim Cessna’s Auto Club added a some vocals and a few drum tracks, and Bonnie and The Beard brought the female vocals to the stage with lively, swinging guitar sounds.

Medicine Man… what can I say. Dare I offer: “the greatest harmonica in Denver”? I said it once before and I’ll say it again: FaceMan and Medicine Man should play more music together. If not formally, then Medicine Man should at least make a cameo during FaceMan’s future shows.

Panal S.A de C.V hit the stage late in the night, brining a touch of instrumental rock of the heavier nature to the gig which was unlike any other on the stage that night – a nice addition to the folk/classic rock/indie sound of the event.

A duo from Bop Skizzum brought along a definite surprise of funk to the show, playing some of the best funk I’ve heard in the area. My notes say, ‘funk act that was pretty darn good!’, which sums up their time on the stage accurately.

I wish I had a playlist to call out specific tunes of the evening, but it was either the third- or fourth-to-last song that had me saying “wow”. And there were plenty of catchy lyrics throughout the night that still repeat today.

Of course, I can’t forget a few words about FaceMan: their music was well-received by the crowd, and at times the audience joined in by singing along and often cheered when a favorite song began to play. Their folk-rock sound and sincere lyrics seem to resonate with listeners; perhaps FaceMan sings something that we all tend to feel from time to time.

Even though it was not a true FaceMan show where the audience was surrounded by their music only, the playlist allowed for FaceMan to become the underlying bond of the night’s varying music. Playing that role in an event like this brought with it the potential for disaster. Rest assured, FaceMan, disaster averted: the format went well. Bravo!

It was clear there had been a lot of energy and time put into the event. I appreciated it… we appreciated it.

FaceMan set out to put on a party, a CD release event much like no other seen in the area. It was clear the members of FaceMan enjoyed it, along with all the other musicians who appeared on stage.

So did we.

‘Great job’ to all, congratulations on the new CD, and ‘thank you’ from the crowd.

Now let’s hear some more music!


*Follow me on Twitter @WrkspcWrtngs

*Here’s Westword’s review of the night.

Say hello to Jasper

He’s a friend of a friend. Maybe not even a friend of a friend, but someone a friend had interaction with at one point. Well, maybe not even someone a friend had interaction with at one point, but someone a friend was in the vicinity of once. Yeah. That’s it.

And she decided to draw a portrait.
Which just so happens to be the size of a quarter.

I do believe it was a work-related function as well. Some sort of off-site third-party training.

Can you tell that the training was highly valuable to its audience?

Jasper, if you’re out there, and you think this looks like you, and your name happens to be Jasper, phone us. Or email. I’d like to see a real picture of you. So make haste.

Probably not though. It’s ok if you never come forward. Your portrait has been sitting on my desk for many, many months now. And yes, I’m JUST getting around to writing a post about you.

Thanks for the entertainment you've brought me.


Friday, February 4, 2011

WW's Weekly Items of Note - V.1, I.2

Welcome to
WW’s Weekly Items of Note
Don’t forget to Share with a friend!

In this issue you’ll find:
From the interwebs
The week’s blogging
The week’s writing

Now let's get started!

From the interwebs:

The week’s blogging:

The week’s writing:

---End weekly transmission---

Don’t forget to Share with a friend!


Mad egg peeling skills (Mad as in awesome? Not at all.)

…Mad as in ‘unlicensed black-market surgeon’ or ‘mad scientist with a hacksaw and 3 bodies to dismember and put back together again’. Yeah, that kind of mad.

I remember a day when I could peel an egg like nobody else. The operation always went smoothly and the eggs survived, coming out whole almost always. These days, my eggs come out of operation looking something like a hack-job, with pieces missing after being ripped off, and they end up looking disfigured. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. And it’s starting to bother me.

Honestly though, I think Xtina has something to do with it – she’s the one who boils them. But she doesn’t seem to have the same trouble I do. In fact, her claim is that she can remove the shell in two (that’s 2) pieces. Which might lead one to believe it’s the operator of the egg peeling operation (me). Whatever.

Here’s a picture of the eggs post-operation for your amusement:


The most important of all shirts

Captain’s Logbook
February 4th, 2011
Day 12

Just twelve days into the journey and we already had a bad day. After only 30 minutes into the morning, it had come to my attention that I had run out of shirts. No, not button-downs, long-sleeved, polo’s, or the sweater-likes. No. I had run out of the most important of all shirts: the undershirt.

After allowing panic to set in for a moment, my hand raised and swung across my face. I quickly slapped myself and emerged from the daze. I ran to the closet. I scoured the racks for something white with short sleeves to wear under one of the more usual shirts listed above.

I came across on shirt, and put it on. The neckline, unfortunately, was worn and un-presentable. I quickly threw it to the floor. Back to the closet I ran.

Looking at all the colors, none fit the category of white. Almost everything was colored, and did not fit the bill.

Then, on the shelf above, sandwiched under a stack of folded clothes, a glimmer of white caught my eye.

There it was! I had found exactly what I was looking for.

I pulled the shirt out, shook it in the wind, raised it above my head, and put it on. I briskly walked to the mirror for inspection. “This one will do the job” I exclaimed.

I quickly put on the more usual shirt of the day over the undershirt and moved to charge head-on toward the day.

I hadn’t looked back until now.

We are very fortunate there was no bloodshed during such an event on this leg of the journey.

We can thank our lucky stars for today.


The Big Five-OH!

No, I’m not fifty, yet, fortunately. If you are, or have been for a while, that’s ok, I’m not putting 50 down, I’m just not there yet. And I hope it’s still a long time before I am, rather than waking up tomorrow and all of a sudden I’ve aged 20 years in my sleep.

That would be weird.

Anywho. This post serves as a mini-celebration as I call out a milestone in my site’s subscriber count – fifty! That’s five-oh! I’m pretty pumped. I would like to thank the following platforms: Twitter, Blogger, Facebook; all my friends: Con Lee, Ms. Amy (here and here), Fishy, JRG, et al.; and of course Xtina, the master egg peeler, which you weren't aware of yet. You will be though.

I would also like to welcome and thank all of my newest “friends” on the interwebs – those of you who have made this possible and subscribed to my feed. Thank you.

Ok – enough of the clapping and tears, thank you, thank you. Thank. YOU!

On tap for today:

-Mad egg peeling skills (Mad as in awesome? Not at all.)
-WW’s Weekly Items of Note – V1, I.2
(here's V1, I1 to hold you over)

PS – What the hell is Yahoo Slurp? They couldn't come up with a better name? That's pretty weird.


Thursday, February 3, 2011

Night Terrors - Part 3

And here's another conversation that adds character to the continuing topic...

Xtina: I told you that happy hour is at Wynkoop tomorrow, right?

Me: Yes.
You got a problem with that?
Wanna fight about it?

Xtina: I will take you down.
Just because I have not yet fully unleashed my wrath upon you does not make it impossible.

Me: It's pretty much impossible, unless I'm sleeping. At which time I'll flee the room screaming my head off.

For history on the ‘night terror’ topic, here's Pt. 1, and here’s Pt. 2. …Enjoy.


Roy G. Biv must have been on crack

So what’s the deal with Roy G. Biv? I get the whole red, orange, yellow, green, and blue thing (and sometimes violet). But indigo? Is that really necessary? I mean, last time I checked they are just a shade off from each other, unlike yellow and green, or orange and yellow (but arguably red and orange can be a shade off as well, but they’re not nearly naturally as close to one another as indigo and violet are).

And also, wtf is this ultraviolet business about? “Man, it’s so violet, it’s ULTRA violet!” Yeah, ok. WHATTHEHELLDOESTHATMEAN?! Couldn’t they have come up with something a little more unique than ‘ultra’violet? I don’t have any suggestions to replace ultraviolet, but I’m sure there were plenty of words not taken at the time they decided to coin it ‘ultra’.

And more also: Finally! It seems my FeedBurner woes are gone. Finally! Yes! Sweet! Wow, that was a pain, and how long has this site been up and running? I guess some things just take time to work out, or, if you stare at something long enough it will fix itself? Either way, I’m please (for the time being) with my FeedBurner service.

On the way:

-Say hello to Jasper
-My egg peeling skills (or lack thereof)


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

In support of their Waltz on Friday: FaceMan

Originally posted a while ago (5/24/10):

I ended up at Pete’s Monkey Bar (formerly Dulcinea’s 100th Monkey) Saturday night for a few drinks and some live music. I love going to Pete’s, it’s a very comfortable place and I feel at home there – good people, good atmosphere, and good music. I was a little hesitant to go Saturday because Pete’s doesn’t usually post who is playing, and I like to do my research on the bands ahead of time to make sure I’m going to enjoy them. I ended up going anyway, and wow, what an experience.

FaceMan was playing that night. Who (or what) is Faceman? FaceMan is a band with a very interesting gimmick: the singer/lead guy comes walking through the front door after the music has started wearing a silver/grey suit with a contraption on his shoulders which fashions a box around his head that has vents on all sides and spinning lights on top (which he turns on and off throughout the show). Needless to say, I was surprised by what I saw, and honestly, I was a little apprehensive of what was going to follow.

And so the show went on, silver-box-with-spinning-lights-over-some-guy’s-head and all. They also had a special guest, a harmonica player called Medicine who added serious depth to the music – who should always play with Faceman from here on out. Oh, and there were two projector screens near the ceiling, and a silver robot looking thing centered in front (something like you would find on Mystery Science Theater 3000)… with a light that kept changing colors (what I thought to be an eye), and a mouth with fiery-orange teeth… fun right? It was.

You see, the projectors played snippets of video along with the music (think Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon and the Wizard of Oz, but with different videos). And although the music and video weren’t in perfect synchronization, it was still pretty damn cool. Every now and then the video would become two eyes, and that’s when you could see it: two eyes, a nose and a mouth of a giant something (see below).

As the music went on and the videos kept changing, it began to make sense… this wasn’t about the band members; Faceman is about the music, the show, and the experience.

FaceMan, I have to hand it to you – you did a great job. Your music was surprisingly good and your gimmick worked very well with the crowd. I definitely look forward to seeing you again.

And Pete – thanks again for another great night. You guys are awesome.

Pete's Monkey Bar:
Pete's on Facebook:



Over the holidays, I went with Xtina to her sister’s house for an evening. Her niece, rather young, thought it fun to tell us some jokes, which just so happen to be the same joke told over and over again, but in differing volume. My favorite happened to be a knock-knock joke. Here it is:


Who’s there?


Chicken who?



I once slalomed donkeys. Or maybe they were mules?

I couldn’t tell… but it sure was an interesting experience.

So I’m driving down a winding road in South Dakota one afternoon, and what do I find as I turn the bend? A few donkeys (or mules) just standing there in the road, hanging out. Of course, they weren’t on the side of the road; they were strewn across the road, standing there, looking at me as if I didn’t belong.

So what did I do? I slowly crept the car up to them. What did I see? The few donkeys turned into a herd of donkeys! And they weren’t moving.

So what did I do? I turned on the camera and made a video as I slalomed my car between and around them.

What happened next? Two donkeys came charging down the side of the road heading straight for my car! Fortunately they ran past and then stopped.

What happened then? As I moved slowly around and between them, one decided to bite my antenna. I quickly put that down.

What could possibly happen then? I pulled up to one, rather plump-looking, donkey as it was panting, consistently and heavily. As I came to a stop it squared up to the car and slowly walked over to the driver's side window. As I rolled the window down I heard the typical donkey sound as it panted, but at a very low volume.

What happened next? It stood, nose to side mirror, and kept standing. It then proceeded to rub its face on my side mirror. And then moved closer to the slightly-open window.

Of course I had my window open a little – I was talking to the donkey the entire time.

Of course it opened its mouth, tried to bite the window, and its teeth made contact with the top of the open window.

Of course I quickly drove away. Off down the road, finally turning the camera off, and in disbelief of the even that just occurred.

I still have the video. I like to watch it sometimes.


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Lol’ing your way through life

I don’t ‘lol’. I more or less refuse. Primarily on the basis that it means, literally, that I’m laughing out loud. It also means, literally, that you’re laughing out loud when you type it as well. Are you aware of that?

I rarely laugh out loud, but if I do, chances are there’s someone I’m conversing with in real-life who is standing near me or on the phone with me and there was something that genuinely made me create a laughing sound from my mouth. Do some things seem funny enough to make me ‘lol’ and type it? Sure. Do they always? No. That’s just insane. Please read further.

I don’t type ‘lol’ because that would mean I’m laughing out loud, quite literally. Unlike probably 98% of the population, when I ‘lol’ I’m actually laughing. And you’re probably not laughing out loud when you type it. So stop. Please. No one laughs out loud after every seemingly funny text that comes across their eyes. Or email. Or instant message. It’s just not right to fake it that much. And it’s not right to go changing the meaning of ‘laughing out loud’ from “I’m actually laughing with some sound” to “I’m not making any sound, but my thought is that it’s funny.”

So stop.


Thank you.


Freaking out in the middle of the night… Pt. 2

So apparently the whole freaking out in the middle of the night isn’t so uncommon. Well, at least making sudden movements in the middle of sleep isn’t so uncommon. You know, the kind of movements that make you wake up and think “what the…”

I hear that Con Lee has woken up on at least one occasion to him punching the air. Straight up. While lying on his back. One fist, one punch. Fortunately he wasn’t lying on his side, resulting in a punch to Jennifer while she was sleeping. Or the air on the other side of the bed.

Now that I think of it, what if he DID hit her? Or I hit someone? What in the world would they be thinking? Who’s likely to be more freaked out – the person sleeping who wakes up freaking out and fighting back against the non-existent creepy girl standing in the corner or scary guy in goggles next to the bed, or the person sleeping away and waking up to someone punching them?

I wonder how that plays out…

Not that I’m interested in finding out.