My apologies to Russia – I never meant to ignore you

I would like to take this time to offer Russia the same open letter that I wrote to Ukraine yesterday, because apparently I’m kind of a big deal there as well: aside from the US, Russia is my largest fan. GO VODKA!


Dear, Russia –

I’m sorry. I never meant to ignore you. Can you ever forgive me?

I would also enjoy an all-expenses paid trip to your land for the purpose of (again) speaking English, and drinking your national drink – vodka (also a la Anthony Bourdain) – and traversing your vast land all while live-blogging the journey.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Sorry again.

Sincerely,
JRM

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An Open Letter to Ukraine

(and also chess – but not “An Open Letter to Chess” also – that would be weird)

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I have 14 active chess games on my Android chess app. Why 14? Because the first 13 are entirely too slow (minus Con Lee’s games, and sometimes JRG’s, too). Sure, the rules say you have 3 days to move, but really… come on. If you need to take 3 days to make one move you probably shouldn’t join the game in the first place.

On another note, I’m kind of a big deal in Ukraine, which is kind of exciting.

Maybe they’ll send for me and provide an all-expenses paid trip to their country for the purpose of speaking English and live-blogging my travels through their countryside a la Anthony Bourdain, which sounds like a good time to me.

In fact, so much so that I’ll do this:

Dear, Ukraine –

Please send for me and provide an all-expenses paid trip to visit your land so I can show off your wonderful country. Maybe we can also play some chess while I’m there, so long as it’s much faster than one-move-every-three-days.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
JRM

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