Showing posts with label Informative. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Informative. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

My love affair with Costco

I have long thought of a day when having a Costco membership would make sense. Years on my own, the life of a single man doesn’t lend to bulk shopping on the scale that makes sense to hold a Costco membership. And then, one day came a few months ago, when it started to make sense.

I remember it: We went in to review the items available at Costco. We walked around, perused the aisles (almost all of them), and took note of the prices. “Some good, some OK, some were not,” I said. After some time walking the never-ending building, we proceeded home.

The very next day: Costco coupons arrived in the mail, by no request of my own. In fact, it appeared to be a sign of sorts, one that said: a Costco membership makes sense.

I flipped the pages, looking at the coupon savings and noting that from this packet alone I would make up for the cost of a basic Costco membership. Indeed, add to the coupon savings the already-low-priced items at Costco and suddenly it did make sense: this year’s membership will be worthwhile, at the very least, because of this one packet of coupons alone, plus the already built-in savings of Costco prices.

The following weekend it was back to Costco, to peruse the aisles again just to be sure. Instead, upon arrival, I took the plunge: not only did I become a Costco member, I became an Executive Costco member. (I understand there is some prestige to the “executive” connotation. I don’t get it, but that’s why I capitalized the “e” here.)

Why, pray tell, did I opt for the double-the-cost of a basic Costco membership? Because of the additional savings (read: savings potential) that comes with said Executive membership. (If you’re not familiar, perhaps it’s time to become acquainted with the additional 2% reward on most Costco purchases, plus the 1+% from American Express if you opt that route.) (Yes, I realize how much money one needs to spend to recoup the membership fee based solely on the percentage-reward.)

Flash forward a few months to today.

Is it worth it? Is it all hoped it to be?

The short of it: yes.

The long of it: I have been to Costco an average of every-other-weekend since I purchased the membership. I find myself saving regularly on: bread, canned goods, paper products, meats (those I have bought thus far), Christmas gifts, snacks (I try to be healthy), miscellaneous food items (too many to list), and last but not least: savings at their gas station.

Let me remind you that I recouped the cost of the basic membership simply with that initial coupon mailing. There has since been two additional coupon mailings that brought further savings. Already, less than three (yes, 3) months into the Executive membership, I not only recouped the basic membership fee, but I’m on the cusp of recouping the Executive membership fee as well.

Did I mention there’s a liquor store attached to the Costco I frequent? They also have respectable savings on the items I purchase in that category.



Hello. My name is Jason, and I’m a Costcoholic. I consider it a love affair, which is likely the root of my problem with Costco. Please don’t try to separate us.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Coffee accessories: The never-ending plight

My office has coffee machines much like any other office with coffee machines you can imagine. Also with the coffee machines are the typical accessories: sugar (fake and not), creamer (dry and wet), stirrers (wooden), and cups (paper or ceramic). Coffee packets and filters are also provided to allow for proper coffee pot operation.

This is all fine and dandy. And even though the coffee sometimes is less than desirable, it is free nonetheless and easily doctored with various powdered and liquid substances.

The plight that is mentioned in the title above comes from the coworker(s). I have not yet identified who, but I had quickly grown tired of, and continue to be tired of, the way they place said coffee accessories on the counter.

“What could possibly be wrong here,” you might say. “Well let me tell you,” I would quickly retort.

You would expect that the primary accessories be placed near each other, and they are. The problem at hand: a paper towel dispenser that hangs on the wall next to the sink.

Now, what could be wrong with that? A lot, in my book – seemingly nothing, in others’.

You see, said coworker(s) move the open sugar and creamer container to just below the hanging paper – where once a person reaches with wet hands, water immediately drips to the countertop below – right where said coworker(s) continue to move the open sugar and creamer containers.

I, like most people, would rather have clean and un-dirtied coffee accessories. I, apparently unlike most people, recognize this hazard and continue to move the accessories (stirrers included) to a dryer, safer place. Over and over and over again.

Please, people: pay the fuck attention to the coffee accessories.

Thank you.

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Friday, May 20, 2011

9 Rules and Expectations for Rapture 2011

9 Rules and Expectations for Rapture 2011

#1. Clowns. You’d better not be afraid of clowns. This is the biggest misconception among the public: clowns are not a part of the Rapture events. You just be ready for clowns, is all I’m saying.

#2. Expect to see some glitter, unicorns, and other mythical creatures taking part in the festivities. If this Rapture really happens, there’s a chance that there will be a moment of euphoria prior to Hell blazing over. If you’re lucky enough to get whisked away, you’ll probably get to live with said glitter, unicorns, and other mythical creatures. Lucky you.

#3. Balls of fire, earthquakes, tidal waves, and horribly-tuned smooth jazz. I don’t expect much thunder, but if there is, it will mostly be drowned out by said jazz and is likely to clap to the beat if you can hear it at all.

#4. Chariots. Lots of them. Ben-Hur style, too.

#5. If this Rapture really happens, expect to see Jesus in the far-off distance, likely hovering in the sky somewhere, standing guard at the aptly-named Pearly Gates along with Peter.

#6. Be prepared to not be whisked away, likely because you’ve listened to rock n roll a few times in your life, or you’ve cursed. They’re saying only 200 million people will be saved. Odds are it isn’t you seeing how that equates to less than 3% of the world’s population.

#7. If you *are* whisked away, be prepared to mourn the loss of loved ones as you watch them on the ground while you float to the sky. Or watch them burn in flames. Or if you suddenly disappear. No matter what, you’re going to want to keep your eyes open.

#8. If you’re lucky enough to see a unicorn, catch it. It’s said that Rapture, at times, can be much like a children’s game in that if you catch a unicorn you’ll be safe.

#9. My final warning: 1) beware of the clowns, 2) some unicorns bite, and 3) glitter likely won’t come off/out of burned flesh, so there’s at least a small chance that you’ll look glittery for all eternity if you’re not magically whisked away.

Good luck no matter what happens.

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Monday, March 21, 2011

Is ‘fish & chips’ the ‘Tex-Mex’ of the British Isles?

At some point during dinner on St. Patrick’s Day, I had a thought that fish & chips might be to England and Ireland what Tex-Mex is to America and Mexico.

After a quick search of the internet, my suspicion was validated: fish & chips can be associated with both the UK and Ireland (along with anyplace else the Brits were in the 19th century).

For some reason, up until recently I thought it was purely a British thing. After paying attention to several Irish pub menus, however, I began to think otherwise, and my confidence in its origins began to diminish.

What I had absolutely no inkling of prior to my search of the internet was that ‘fish & chips’ is slightly Jewish as well:

As it turns out (aka: so says The Great Internet), the first fish & chips shop was opened by a Jewish guy way back in the day (1860 in London to be exact, per Wikipedia…).

So, unlike poor Saint Patrick (who was captured by the Irish from his homeland of Britain, enslaved, escaped, and returned to Ireland as a bishop later in life), ‘fish & chips’ had more favorable travels from Britain to Ireland and the rest of the area, and even made it to America.


And what can we learn from this (other than learning this information in and of itself)?

A) It’s easier to enslave food than people?

B) You can’t enslave food at all?

3) It’s more acceptable and moral to enslave a food than it is a person?

9) It ain’t easy being a saint?

x) Don’t let ‘the man’ put you down?

Or

Z) It’s easier for food to emigrate/immigrate than it is for people?


Thursday, March 17, 2011

Oh, Saint Patrick, patron saint of… wait, what?

Oh, Saint Patrick, patron saint of something, purveyor of amateur night, and little-g-god of alcohol lust. You are, and will always be, special to many in this world, and held close to our heart for most of our lives.

We thank you, from the bottom of our hearts, for your willingness to die for our alcohol consumption and our bastardization of the color green.

May you rest in peace. Amen.

Wait, what? That’s not what Pat was about?

Oh… well then… Congrats for being Irish? Or British? Or a Brit capture by the Green team, enslaved, escaped, then returned as a bishop to the Green team’s land by own free will?

Interesting…

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Lil Wayne, Indiana

This post has nothing to do with Lil Wayne. This post also has nothing to do with Wayne, Indiana or Fort Wayne, Indiana (which are roughly 2 hours apart, directly North and South of each other).

Moreover, this post has nothing to do with Indiana at all (minus the tidbit of info listed above). In fact, there is no post – I simply wanted to get “Lil Wayne, Indiana” out of my head.

At least it was educational.

Thank you.

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Thursday, February 17, 2011

OCD and an abundance of estrogen

I subscribe to a ridiculous amount of RSS feeds. My Google Reader is overflowing with unread posts, most of which remain unread as I pass them by and ‘mark all read’ to a good majority of feeds.

Why don’t I just unsubscribe, you say? Probably because of my OCD and a real concern that I’ll miss something that I won’t read anyway.

How does any of this make sense? It doesn’t. Why should you care? You shouldn’t. Unless I subscribe to your feed. At which time you should care. But because I’m not your only subscriber, you don’t have to worry. And if your posts are even mildly funny, I probably read your feed every day and you still don’t have to worry.

What I’ll do next is introduce a few of the blogs I read daily, or whenever there’s a new post. Enjoy!

(In no specific order)

Jamie the Very Worst Missionary
The Bloggess
The Sassy Curmudgeon
The Pits of Being Peachy
Hyperbole and a Half
More is Better

Disclosure: All of the above bloggers are female.

Does this mean only females blog? No. Does this mean that only female bloggers write quality “fun/ny” content? Probably not. Could my Google Reader use more male bloggers who write quality “fun/ny” content? Probably. Can you suggest some? I don’t know, can you?

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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Facebook is a drug, not a hobby

“I need a hobby other than Facebook” was a search hit yesterday. It’s nice to see other people also have trouble finding hobbies. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one.

Although, I’m not sure that “Facebook” counted as a hobby in the first place… An addiction? Yes. Hobby? Probably no.

Good for you, “I need a hobby other than Facebook” searcher – the first step toward recovery is to recognize you have a problem. And taking the step to search the internet for something other than Facebook is commendable. Congratulations on beginning your journey.

For the rest of us? The slow-drip access to Facebook content from our smartphones throughout the day provide the juice that keeps us going, rather than having to fiend on the social media site for hours on end late into the evenings.

Maybe that’s what “I need a hobby other than Facebook” searcher needs – a smartphone to inject Facebook throughout the day instead of all at once after normal operating hours.

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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A process for direction

I’m trying to figure out what to do with my life moving forward from here. Have you ever tried to do that? It’s a daunting task! I suppose some people are born and bred into something that they enjoy and just know what they’re made for. Unfortunately that’s not me.

So, in order to tackle this, I’ve decided to approach it this way: I’m taking stock of me; who I am, etc… I’ve made a list of three categories: languages, passions, interests. Through these, I expect to find my calling, or at least more direction in my career path. At the very least, I expect this exercise to help identify areas where I’m proficient and areas I’ll enjoy, and hopefully indentify the areas that combine the two. To clarify “languages”: these are the subjects/topics/industries that I can speak fluently, or speak well… I couldn’t think of a different category title.

Here’s what I have so far, listed in no specific order:

Languages (what subjects/topics/industries can I speak fluently, or speak well?)
- Politics
- Finance
- IT
- General business

Passions (what am I passionate about when speaking with others?)
- Education
- Music
- Food

Interests (what are my interests?)
- Outdoor activities
- Recycling/”Green” things
- Music
- Poker
- Cooking
- Motivation/Inspiration/Self-help (maybe?)

I plan to continue building the list, but I’m at a point where I really have to think about it, I mean really, really think to find things to add. Perhaps only those which immediately come to mind should be included here, simply because if they’re at the forefront of the mind then they must be a legitimate, viable interest. Otherwise, if I really have to think to come up with something, maybe it’s not that high up on the list to begin with and shouldn’t be included. I guess then maybe my list is done… or maybe it’s not. I guess I’ll find that out.

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Thursday, May 20, 2010

To combobulate or discombobulate, that is the question.

I was on a conference call today and the gentleman on the other end made a comment about being discombobulated. I’ve heard this word plenty of times in my life and I’m quite familiar with it, in fact, I use it myself at times. But for some reason at the exact moment he said “discombobulated” I noticed something I hadn’t noticed before – where’s combobulate?!?!

Of course the first thing I had to do as soon as I got back to my desk was to do some quick research on discombobulate. It turns out that we don’t say combobulate because there is no combobulate! Sure, we have the anti (discombobulate), but we have no posi (combobulate). It only stands to reason that there should be a posi, especially if there’s and anti!

On with my research: I found this on Dictionary.com (I prefer it in this instance over Merriam-Webster.com) and this from WordPress (turns out that I’m not the only one who has concerns over this word).

Dictionary.com says that discombobulate is “1825–35, Americanism; fanciful alter. of discompose or discomfort.” Meaning that discombobulate doesn’t have a Latin origin? Which means it doesn’t have a root word? No base to build off of to develop an anti?

Interesting.

So… should we start a movement by regularly using combobulate in our daily lives? I’m on board if you are.

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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Like a warm shot of Jager… or is it deer-flavored alcohol?

This morning on the drive to work, Cane came on the radio (Sirius Octane 20 to be exact) and started on about how a band commented in December that they were done with their hiatus and going in the studio, but turned around in January and said “not quite yet.” He went on to compare the feeling he got from that news to an instance of when you order a shot of Jager, only to find it’s warm as you drink it.

That’s a serious kind of disappointment I hadn’t recognized previously.

I never thought of it before, but he has a good point: ordering a shot of Jager, drinking it, and realizing it’s warm when it’s too late is probably one of the worst feelings you can have at a bar. I can’t say it’s on par with losing a bar fight, but it’s definitely up there.


Segueing to another subject while staying on topic: it’s best to have too much fun. Or at least aim to have too much fun; if you aim for that, you’re bound to have just enough. I can’t say that I have ever had too much fun in my life. I’ve done some pretty stupid things that were a lot of fun, done some things that were supposed to be fun but turned out pretty stupid, and I’ve done plenty of things that were legitimately fun. I don’t think there was ever a time, though, when I had too much fun. Sure, I’ve wanted more fun, but never any less fun. I think it’s best to aim for too much fun – at least you’re trying!

It’s interesting how Jager can be a catalyst to having either too much fun, or no fun at all depending on your perspective of the evening. It’s also interesting how a lot of people despise the drink while others flock to it with open arms.

My father told me on Sunday that he enjoys a shot or two of Schnapps now and then. He probably told me what kind of Schnapps, but I immediately dismissed his taste, verbally scolded him, and urged him to purchase a bottle of Jager. I even spelled it out for him, told him the color of the bottle, and informed him that there is a deer on the label.

What’s up with that deer anyway? I don’t think Jager tastes like deer. Do you?


…According to Snopes, Jagermeister does not contain deer blood, thankfully. But apparently there has been some concern.

www.snopes.com/business/secret/jagermeister.asp addresses the blood question

Regarding the significance of the Jager logo: wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_Jagermeister_logo

And also http://www.jagermeister.com/ for additional history regarding the US phenomenon of Jager and its official website


Cheers!

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