I just received an email at work containing the following line: “getting them pinned down has been like trying to chase a squirrel on caffeine.”
I promptly forwarded the email to my boss and asked if he has ever chased a squirrel on caffeine. His response leads me to believe he has not. Neither have I. And chances are, I don’t know anyone who has.
After hearing this, I have a few questions:
1) Where did the squirrel get the caffeine?
2) Why would you be chasing a squirrel in the first place?
3) How high can squirrels jump after consuming caffeine?
4) What happens to tortoises (torti?) when they consume caffeine?
If anyone can answer any or all of these, it would be greatly appreciated.
_
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
The Ish Clause and PainterMan
I enjoy the Ish Clause. For those who may not know, when someone adds “ish” to the end of a word, most frequently regarding a time, they’re giving you a guesstimate or loose estimate (side note: somehow guesstimate is a real word according to Microsoft – you learn something new every day).
I don’t like to overuse the Ish Clause, and I certainly don’t like when others overuse it… that’s just outright abuse. And I don’t stand for abuse… in most cases at least.
Anyway, utilizing the Ish Clause allows for a window of opportunity, which I think is still pretty firm. In regard to time, when someone says “ish”, I don’t think that goes beyond 20 minutes in either direction; there’s definite boundaries for the Ish Clause.
Last week, a coworker told me he would have his PowerPoint slides to me around Wednesday-ish. It is currently Friday. I haven’t encountered a day-“ish” before, so I didn’t really know what to expect. The jury is still out, but I would say that in day-ish terms, there is a one-day window there; certainly, 20 minutes wouldn’t be appropriate, and 20 days is entirely too ridiculous a timeframe.
In other news, I got home after work yesterday to find painters hanging on the side of my house. Apparently the HOA had contracted them to repaint all the units in my area. I knew about this ahead of time, but they didn’t give a specific date they’d start painting.
So I walked inside, let the dog out, walked back into the living room and saw this, which doesn’t seem too safe to me:
I was expecting PainterMan to come crashing through the window after I took his picture and really didn’t want to deal with that.
Fortunately he didn't.
_
I don’t like to overuse the Ish Clause, and I certainly don’t like when others overuse it… that’s just outright abuse. And I don’t stand for abuse… in most cases at least.
Anyway, utilizing the Ish Clause allows for a window of opportunity, which I think is still pretty firm. In regard to time, when someone says “ish”, I don’t think that goes beyond 20 minutes in either direction; there’s definite boundaries for the Ish Clause.
Last week, a coworker told me he would have his PowerPoint slides to me around Wednesday-ish. It is currently Friday. I haven’t encountered a day-“ish” before, so I didn’t really know what to expect. The jury is still out, but I would say that in day-ish terms, there is a one-day window there; certainly, 20 minutes wouldn’t be appropriate, and 20 days is entirely too ridiculous a timeframe.
In other news, I got home after work yesterday to find painters hanging on the side of my house. Apparently the HOA had contracted them to repaint all the units in my area. I knew about this ahead of time, but they didn’t give a specific date they’d start painting.
So I walked inside, let the dog out, walked back into the living room and saw this, which doesn’t seem too safe to me:
I was expecting PainterMan to come crashing through the window after I took his picture and really didn’t want to deal with that.
Fortunately he didn't.
_
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Poker, the Stove-and-Pot Team, and my FeedBurner angst
I sat down on the couch the other night, had the TV on, turned lappy on, and logged into Full Tilt for a little online poker. About 20 minutes or so into the tournament, I hear some splattering and general destruction coming from the kitchen area. Turns out I was boiling something on the stove. It also turns out that I forgot I was boiling something on the stove.
I quickly jumped up from the couch mid-hand of the tournament, unplugged the power source from lappy, ran with lappy in-hand to the kitchen, threw my glasses onto the counter, and set lappy next to the stove. I proceeded to the drawer, grabbed two potholders, moved the pot off the burner it was on, turned the burner off, put the potholders down, played my hand in the tournament online, and proceeded to clean up the mess that the Stove-and-Pot Team had created. Crisis averted.
I ended up winning the tournament, and my food was thoroughly cooked.
Topic change:
I’m frustrated with FeedBurner. I don’t understand how such a simple concept of tracking RSS feeds can be so challenging of a task for a company such as Google. I understand there’s various avenues RSS feeds can take and the magic that needs to happen to come up with a final “subscriber” number… but really… why the issues?
What I don’t understand is why there is a departure between the quantity of “subscribers” in FeedBurner and the quantity of “followers” from Google. Seems to me that feed aggregators still ping an RSS feed, including Google Reader, even if you’re “following” a blog. Yet, the quantity reflected in FeedBurner “subscribers” is nothing close to the Google “followers”.
Needless to say, every time I think about FeedBurner, I want to fix the issue; every time I try to research and fix the issue, I get upset at FeedBurner.
_
I quickly jumped up from the couch mid-hand of the tournament, unplugged the power source from lappy, ran with lappy in-hand to the kitchen, threw my glasses onto the counter, and set lappy next to the stove. I proceeded to the drawer, grabbed two potholders, moved the pot off the burner it was on, turned the burner off, put the potholders down, played my hand in the tournament online, and proceeded to clean up the mess that the Stove-and-Pot Team had created. Crisis averted.
I ended up winning the tournament, and my food was thoroughly cooked.
Topic change:
I’m frustrated with FeedBurner. I don’t understand how such a simple concept of tracking RSS feeds can be so challenging of a task for a company such as Google. I understand there’s various avenues RSS feeds can take and the magic that needs to happen to come up with a final “subscriber” number… but really… why the issues?
What I don’t understand is why there is a departure between the quantity of “subscribers” in FeedBurner and the quantity of “followers” from Google. Seems to me that feed aggregators still ping an RSS feed, including Google Reader, even if you’re “following” a blog. Yet, the quantity reflected in FeedBurner “subscribers” is nothing close to the Google “followers”.
Needless to say, every time I think about FeedBurner, I want to fix the issue; every time I try to research and fix the issue, I get upset at FeedBurner.
_
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
A moral and/or ethical dilemma – or not
Last night I went to Walmart. I don’t ever enjoy going to Walmart. I don’t know many who do.
I try to be as quick as possible when I go into that store because I know that I’m going to have to stand in line for what seems like forever – it always seems like forever. Always.
As I make my way to the checkout area, there is a very short line with only one person at the register. Needless to say I was pleased with this and proceeded to that register.
The young woman scanned my first two items, and then the third. The third didn’t scan properly, or at all, and the register didn’t recognize the product. She cleared the machine rather quickly and proceeded to scan it one more time. Again, it didn’t recognize the product.
She then cleared it again and put the item into the bag and announced my total. Being the quick grasshopper I am, I knew the total included only the first two items and not the third. I swiped my card, signed, thanked the young lady, took my three items and walked out of the store with receipt in hand – verifying I was correct.
So there we have it: I was given a free item at Walmart. I knew she didn’t ring it up, and I still went with it.
Here’s the thing: under other circumstances, if they had missed an item I would have pointed out the error and have them rescan so I can properly pay for what I’m walking out the door with. This time, however, was different.
She clearly tried to scan the product, but it couldn’t be found. She made the executive decision to place the item in the bag for me to take home. What was I supposed to do? Argue with her? Insist she call a manager to come figure out the situation? Stand and wait, causing the line behind me to grow continually for who knows how long?
I chose not to mention anything because it was apparent that I was in the clear, ethically and morally speaking of course.
Or was that wrong?
_
I try to be as quick as possible when I go into that store because I know that I’m going to have to stand in line for what seems like forever – it always seems like forever. Always.
As I make my way to the checkout area, there is a very short line with only one person at the register. Needless to say I was pleased with this and proceeded to that register.
The young woman scanned my first two items, and then the third. The third didn’t scan properly, or at all, and the register didn’t recognize the product. She cleared the machine rather quickly and proceeded to scan it one more time. Again, it didn’t recognize the product.
She then cleared it again and put the item into the bag and announced my total. Being the quick grasshopper I am, I knew the total included only the first two items and not the third. I swiped my card, signed, thanked the young lady, took my three items and walked out of the store with receipt in hand – verifying I was correct.
So there we have it: I was given a free item at Walmart. I knew she didn’t ring it up, and I still went with it.
Here’s the thing: under other circumstances, if they had missed an item I would have pointed out the error and have them rescan so I can properly pay for what I’m walking out the door with. This time, however, was different.
She clearly tried to scan the product, but it couldn’t be found. She made the executive decision to place the item in the bag for me to take home. What was I supposed to do? Argue with her? Insist she call a manager to come figure out the situation? Stand and wait, causing the line behind me to grow continually for who knows how long?
I chose not to mention anything because it was apparent that I was in the clear, ethically and morally speaking of course.
Or was that wrong?
_
Standing on the edge
I look down, standing on the edge.
With cool breeze brushing my skin,
I close my eyes and clear my mind.
I lift up my arms from my sides.
With body shaped like a ‘T’,
I breathe in deep.
My senses heightened.
The sweet smell of flowers,
and waves crashing consume me.
I raise onto my toes.
Butterflies form in my stomach,
my nerves begin to swarm, and I wait.
I open my eyes to the ground below me.
I can finally see clearly,
this world is for me.
I rest my heels firmly on the ground.
My body relaxes,
my nerves slow down.
I struggle to step back.
My mind urges me to stay,
but my heart fights me from the edge.
I am safe again.
I will live to see another day.
*Note: the "I" in this poem is not me. Although this can be interpreted as thoughts of suicide, these thoughts are not my own.
*Note: Visit One Stop - Where Poets and Writers Meet and their One Shot Wednesday for poems & stories from others.
_
With cool breeze brushing my skin,
I close my eyes and clear my mind.
I lift up my arms from my sides.
With body shaped like a ‘T’,
I breathe in deep.
My senses heightened.
The sweet smell of flowers,
and waves crashing consume me.
I raise onto my toes.
Butterflies form in my stomach,
my nerves begin to swarm, and I wait.
I open my eyes to the ground below me.
I can finally see clearly,
this world is for me.
I rest my heels firmly on the ground.
My body relaxes,
my nerves slow down.
I struggle to step back.
My mind urges me to stay,
but my heart fights me from the edge.
I am safe again.
I will live to see another day.
*Note: the "I" in this poem is not me. Although this can be interpreted as thoughts of suicide, these thoughts are not my own.
*Note: Visit One Stop - Where Poets and Writers Meet and their One Shot Wednesday for poems & stories from others.
_
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The continuous pursuit of food
In conversation today, much like conversation from every other day, I realized that my life, along with a friend’s life, is a continuous pursuit of food.
Virtually every day the conversation goes something like this (via email, BB Messenger, or IM):
Con Lee: “What should I have for lunch?”
Me: “Beef sammich.”
Con Lee: “No, I don’t want that.”
Me: “How about pizza? Mmm, Lou Malnati’s… That was the best sauce ever.”
Con Lee: “No, I don’t want pizza. Go to GrubHub.com and search for something around 60613.”
Me: “OK.”
Time goes by as I search and I eventually return with the results:
Me: “How about Thai?”
Con Lee: “No.”
Me: “How about Chinese?”
Con Lee: “Nope.”
Me: “How about Chicago dogs?”
Con Lee: “No, I want something different.”
By this point I’m probably tired of figuring out what someone else should eat for lunch, and as my interest wanes I tend to let the topic pass. Sometimes, however, the conversation is so intense that a phone call is warranted to discuss the topic further… and after a few moments of that, my waning interest continues.
These conversations happen almost daily, including weekends, and also take place during dinner and late-night hours as well.
And also (this just in):
Jennifer: “Do you find it concerning that I eat a king size box of Junior Mints daily while at work and have been since April?”
Me: “Yes. Do you mind if I blog that?”
Jennifer: “It’s fine with me, but more importantly should I be worried about my wellbeing because of this? Diabetes perhaps? I can’t stop.”
Me: “Yes. Stop.”
…We (yes, WE, including me, because I'm not exempt from said what-should-I-eat discussions) seem to have issues with food.
_
Virtually every day the conversation goes something like this (via email, BB Messenger, or IM):
Con Lee: “What should I have for lunch?”
Me: “Beef sammich.”
Con Lee: “No, I don’t want that.”
Me: “How about pizza? Mmm, Lou Malnati’s… That was the best sauce ever.”
Con Lee: “No, I don’t want pizza. Go to GrubHub.com and search for something around 60613.”
Me: “OK.”
Time goes by as I search and I eventually return with the results:
Me: “How about Thai?”
Con Lee: “No.”
Me: “How about Chinese?”
Con Lee: “Nope.”
Me: “How about Chicago dogs?”
Con Lee: “No, I want something different.”
By this point I’m probably tired of figuring out what someone else should eat for lunch, and as my interest wanes I tend to let the topic pass. Sometimes, however, the conversation is so intense that a phone call is warranted to discuss the topic further… and after a few moments of that, my waning interest continues.
These conversations happen almost daily, including weekends, and also take place during dinner and late-night hours as well.
And also (this just in):
Jennifer: “Do you find it concerning that I eat a king size box of Junior Mints daily while at work and have been since April?”
Me: “Yes. Do you mind if I blog that?”
Jennifer: “It’s fine with me, but more importantly should I be worried about my wellbeing because of this? Diabetes perhaps? I can’t stop.”
Me: “Yes. Stop.”
…We (yes, WE, including me, because I'm not exempt from said what-should-I-eat discussions) seem to have issues with food.
_
PB & BB
_
Following suit with yesterday’s post:
Apparently my blog post is the #2 search result for 'listening to Playboy Radio at work'. Someone out in internetland actually searched that and opted to click on my blog – how fun! I doubt it’s what he/she was looking for (probably he), but that’s alright. Unlike yesterday’s interesting tidbit, I don’t think I mind cornering this part of the market.
In other news:
As you may or may not know, I have a BlackBerry. And on that BlackBerry is BlackBerry Messenger, a neat little application that allows you to chat with other BB users without using text messages. This saves you from racking up your text plan and, ideally, saves you money… assuming the people you want to chat with have a BB as well.
My friend and his wife both have BBs, thus they’re on the contacts list in the app. I have another friend whom I text with regularly, but for some reason he’s not on that contacts list, and it doesn’t seem right to chat with him through BB messenger. I added him once and tried to converse through the app, but it didn’t seem right, it actually felt a little awkward. I’m not sure why... I could save some text messages if I chat with him through the app, but what’s a few text messages for the sake of comfort?
Anyway, in the BB Messenger you can populate a profile. I like to change my name in the profile every once in a while to spice things up, even though I’m chatting with only two people there. I’ll usually change my last name to their last name, but right now I have it changed to her maiden name. At least I think it’s funny…
I haven’t started branching out into crazy names yet, but I will. In fact, I might just do that right now.
_
Following suit with yesterday’s post:
Apparently my blog post is the #2 search result for 'listening to Playboy Radio at work'. Someone out in internetland actually searched that and opted to click on my blog – how fun! I doubt it’s what he/she was looking for (probably he), but that’s alright. Unlike yesterday’s interesting tidbit, I don’t think I mind cornering this part of the market.
In other news:
As you may or may not know, I have a BlackBerry. And on that BlackBerry is BlackBerry Messenger, a neat little application that allows you to chat with other BB users without using text messages. This saves you from racking up your text plan and, ideally, saves you money… assuming the people you want to chat with have a BB as well.
My friend and his wife both have BBs, thus they’re on the contacts list in the app. I have another friend whom I text with regularly, but for some reason he’s not on that contacts list, and it doesn’t seem right to chat with him through BB messenger. I added him once and tried to converse through the app, but it didn’t seem right, it actually felt a little awkward. I’m not sure why... I could save some text messages if I chat with him through the app, but what’s a few text messages for the sake of comfort?
Anyway, in the BB Messenger you can populate a profile. I like to change my name in the profile every once in a while to spice things up, even though I’m chatting with only two people there. I’ll usually change my last name to their last name, but right now I have it changed to her maiden name. At least I think it’s funny…
I haven’t started branching out into crazy names yet, but I will. In fact, I might just do that right now.
_
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