Old Chub and the Subwat

I came back to my desk at one point today to find an Old Chub sticker sitting on my chair. A pretty vibrant green thing with yellow along its edges. I’ve never had Old Chub, and I’ve never been to Scotland. I’m sure I’ve had Scottish style ales, but most likely not this one. Why? Obvious reasons, probably; I think it’d rather visit Scotland than drink something called Old Chub. No offense, Chub, but that’s the way I roll.

Earlier in the day, a friend of mine sent a message to my phone saying something about a subwat. Like you, I paused and thought: “Oh my god! He’s being attacked by a subwat!” For those of you who don’t know what a subwat is, I think it could be any one of the following: A) a rat found in a subway, B) a rat that looks like a submarine, either sandwich or vessel, C) an animal large enough to attack a grown man, D) a misspelling of the word subway, or E) something like a jackalope that brings fear to all men, yet is infamously difficult to catch on film, much like Big Foot.

I still haven’t figured out what, exactly, a subwat is, but I promptly notified my friend’s wife of the attack. I trust that he’s ok; we never spoke of it again.

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