Someone wanted me to write this, so here it is:
When I was younger, say, late-single-digits/early-doubles, I used to play basketball in the yard. I would hop around doing the basketball thing, you know… typical stuff. Many times I would warm up by shooting the ball straight up and catching it, straight up and catching it.
One day as I was warming up, I shot the ball straight up, caught it, shot it straight up, caught it, shot it straight up, was blinded by something falling in my eye from above, and I promptly ran into the house.
Upon further inspection, I became acutely aware that a seagull had flown above and relived itself not just on me, but in my eye.
MY EFFING EYE!